Pseudo-Suitors and Bogus-Beaus (Oblivious To My Own Genius): 2020

Sunday, December 27, 2020

Chronology

1953 birth 1953

1956 moved to Montavilla from St Johns

1958 kindergarten, Vestal

1959 Elementary school, Ascension

1966 8^th grade, Lynch Terrace 1967

1970 June 14, converted

1971 graduated Centennial 1971

1973 married RR MacPherson 1973

1974 1st child, born October 1974

1976 January - moved to Loleta, CA

1976 2^nd child, April 1976

1976 May – moved to LA, CA

1976 July - moved back to Oregon

1977 3^rd child born, September 1977

1982 Divorced RR

1982 Started dating PTL and off/on visits

1984 Married LGN 1984

1990 January – Spain 1990

1990 Spring – moved out from LGN 1990

1990 May – made plans and paid deposit for El Paso, TX move

1990 Curt S John died and El Paso, TX plans were dropped

1990 Moved to St Johns

1991 January, got Housing Authority job and moved to Milwaukie

1991 Fall – divorced LGN 1991

1992 SCM off to college - Eugene

1992 met DP Lane 1991

1993 December, broke up DP Lane 1992

1994 Stolen Corolla, IJM’s first baby mama – IJM out

1994 Spring met DL Jones 1993

1994 PCC ITP program

1996 Graduated PCC 1996

1996 6 week Florida Camp Dundee

1997 Left DLJ (ish) and befriended DL1996

1998 September, moved to Pensacola, FL 1998

1998 PTL lived in PCola – saw him often

1999 DLJ says: Pancreatic Cancer 1999

1999 July flight to Tucson to help mom & PDX, see DLJ

1999 Aug 18, DLJ dies

1999 4^th week of December, relocated home, PDX 1999

2000 Live in Hillsdale & work for various schools 2000

2000 Russ Platt became important in my life 2001

2001 Russ Platt died Oct 11

2001 PTL began to significantly WANE

2004 BR surgery 2004

2004 Multnomah, live with Kathy and date LH

2005 Break from LH 2004

3;"> Meet RJH 1/1/2006

2006 July 25 - Hired at Sorenson 2005

2006 August 25 – Buy house in Beaverton

2008 April - meet TPorter 2008

2009 January - Stop dating TPorter 2009

2009 May – Break my shoulder 2009

2014 MikeW and Knee Surgery 2014

2014 March serious complications and re-admittance hospital,

helped by MW (NEARLY died)

2015 Dec MW disappears 2014
2018 Sept/Oct. DN. “I adore you...”
2018 April & June & September, Seattle Lipedema surgeries

/> 2019 Feb. DN “ Yeah. I wish you the best. But that’s me. So it sucks to be you..”

2019 Oct. retire/step down from FT at Sorenson

2020 March. WORLD WIDE PANDEMIC of Corona Virus and March through the rest of the year, we live quarantined, separated, masked and as of Christmas, there are 80.4 million cases of the disease, world wide and 1.76 MILLION deaths world wide; America has had 19,433, 847 deaths. We've voted out 45-the "DESPOT in a comb-over" and 1-20-21 there will be a new Democratic president, the former vice president, with Barack Obama, our new president will be Joe Biden. The VP, first woman ever, and a POC: Kamala Harris.

2020 NOV. My son, IJM has his SEVENTH daughter, born the day after my Mom's birthday. His kids are Ashley (Trina), Madison (Theresa), Mariah, Hailee (Lorrie), Tru, Callie and Remi (Tracey). (Moms in parentheses) .”
STILL sporadically seeing RJH. The world is NOT in a "mood" for meeting people and I have given up all internet dating for the foreseeable future. 2021 same o-same-0. Covid still rages. RJH and me still rendevousing. Nearly died (with hyporthemia) in August at Clear Lake Resort in a SUP accident. By Sept. 2021. I was working full time from home only. Went to Seattle by plane at end of Sept - but missed the Van Gogh exhibit. October, my 2nd kid / oldest son had an EIGHTH daughter, named Charli. Rose and Karen joined me for my birthday in Astoria in Nov. Christmas 2021 was the shittiest ever in my life and my youngest son was cruel and manipulative and froze me out for 72 hours. He finally communicated on 12/26/21.

2021 A rerun of 2020. My youngest child, my son, is still living with me. I work from home for Sorenson. Life is limited, still with Covid; it has taken control of many things and pushed people out of our lives. Politically, the world is in two hemispheres and it has been a colander. Sift. Sift. Who is still remaining after the chaos? Christmas was snow and freezing rain and the whole family get-together, (FINALLY, which was killed in 2020), never was re=instated when the weather "bettered".

2022 I decidied in April of 2022: that I had my fill of Oregon. Sold my home in Beaverton, OR and moved to Anacortes, WA. I am living on an island (FIDALGO ISLAND) and have a tribe of support in Anacortes. I have the opportunity (nearly monthly) to be a vendor and sell my art. I have a home that I remodeled and have an office and 2 other bedrooms, 2 baths, a yard and a place for my hot tub. I am at the end of a green belt, and I am visited my deer, duck and bunnies. This is the retirement place to be! I traveled to Oregon for Christmas (barely); it was frigid and snowy and bleak and an uncomfortable visit. Chrstmas Eve was hosted by my sister, and I was ill and it is a blur to me. Family tensions were high; that is all I will say. I realized CHHRISTMAS MORNING that I had an ear infection. After tracking down an urgent care (open on Christmas Day in the greater Portlkand area, AND a pharmacy), I decided to leave Portland. I SLEPT AT EACH REST STOP IN WASHINGTON ALL THE WAY HOME, but I made it safely and sickly.

2023 />

Monday, October 12, 2020

I want to age like sea glass

https://www.beachcombingmagazine.com/blogs/news/i-want-to-age-like-sea-glass

I want to age like sea glass. Smoothed by tides, not broken. I want the currents of life to toss me around, shake me up and leave me feeling washed clean. I want my hard edges to soften as the years pass—made not weak but supple. I want to ride the waves, go with the flow, feel the impact of the surging tides rolling in and out. When I am thrown against the shore and caught between the rocks and a hard place, I want to rest there until I can find the strength to do what is next. Not stuck—just waiting, pondering, feeling what it feels like to pause. And when I am ready, I will catch a wave and let it carry me along to the next place that I am supposed to be. I want to be picked up on occasion by an unsuspected soul and carried along—just for the connection, just for the sake of appreciation and wonder. And with each encounter, new possibilities of collaboration are presented, and new ideas are born. I want to age like sea glass so that when people see the old woman I’ll become, they’ll embrace all that I am. They’ll marvel at my exquisite nature, hold me gently in their hands and be awed by my well-earned patina. Neither flashy nor dull, just a perfect luster. And they’ll wonder, if just for a second, what it is exactly I am made of and how I got to this very here and now. And we’ll both feel lucky to be in that perfectly right place at that profoundly right time. I want to age like sea glass. I want to enjoy the journey and let my preciousness be, not in spite of the impacts of life, but because of them.
The Story Behind the Poem Growing up in New Jersey, the shore was a regular part of summer for Bernadette Noll and her family. They’d often go for day trips to Island Beach State Park and then head to Seaside Heights Boardwalk in the evening. For weeklong trips with her many cousins, they’d go to Ship Bottom on Long Beach Island, New Jersey. “My sister, Alma, collected all kinds of nature’s treasures,” says Bernadette. Alma was the second of nine children, and Bernadette was the eighth. “Alma made little magic wands out of sticks and string and rocks, she collected little bits on every walk or hike as if each time she went outside it was a treasure hunt. And a trip to the shore always included long walks on the beach either one on one or with little kids in tow.” Bernadette’s sister died suddenly in 2010. “Her last day of life was 10/10/10,” Bernadette recalls. She had spoken with her that night and life for Alma was good. She was happy and healthy and had a beautiful family and a satisfying job as the head of the Waldorf school in Lacrosse, Wisconsin. “That morning I got a call at 4:30 am that she was dead,” continues Bernadette. “We don’t know whether she fell down the stairs or whether she had an aneurysm that burst which made her fall. At that point, it didn’t really matter which it was because she was dead.” They gathered instantly as a family in Wisconsin and spent a full week celebrating Alma and being surrounded by love. “In life she taught me so much about everything! She was 12 years older and was my godmother,” Bernadette says. “She was a feminist and a human rights advocate and a gay woman and an adoptive mom and an all around voice for what is right. In death, there is a glory that is achieved, and she achieved that glory in her life, too. She was just a beautiful person. Since birth, because she was my godmother, she was my teacher, my friend, my other mother, and my advocate. Lucky, lucky me.” One day in 2014, Bernadette was walking on the beach, remembering her sister. She looked down and found a piece of blue sea glass. “The glass was light blue and somewhat clear. Beautiful. Soft. Tiny. With a slight curve,” says Bernadette. “I carried it in my pocket for a long time and whenever I touched it I thought of her. She loved sea glass.” Slowly a poem emerged as Bernadette pondered the meaning of life. “Alma died at 57, suddenly. What I learned from her death was that life is precious and meant to be joyful, full of beauty, and satisfying. Sea glass is kind of like that. Precious. Joyful. Beautiful. And satisfying.” The poem was originally published on Bernadette’s website and then on Huffington Post in 2014. At some point, a shop owner posted an edited version inside a fitting room door in a shop on Sanibel Island. “The photo went wildly around the internet,” laughs Bernadette. “So many people were sending it to me and asking, ‘Isn’t this your poem??’ There was no author credit. At first I was like What the heck?? Someone stole it!” But then Bernadette started getting notes from all around the world telling her how the poem had affected them in times of grief, loss, illness, or solitude. “So many beautiful and heartfelt messages!” adds Bernadette. “And, of course, mostly from women age 50 or over since the poem speaks of aging gracefully.” Bernadette has actually been to Sanibel quite a bit as her parents used to have a little trailer right near the entrance to the island. “So, that fact really made me kind of happy,” she says. Bernadette keeps herself more than busy, in the meantime. “I wear so many hats!” she exclaims. “I am a mom of four first and foremost, and still have two kiddos at home. I am a writer. I have three books out: Slow Family Living: 75 ways to slow down, connect and create more joy; Make Stuff Together, and Look At Us Now: a creative family journal. Most of my work now is teaching people to consume less, share more, and create more.” Bernadette does reduce and reuse education through Austin Creative Reuse and also on her own at Reduce Reuse Remake. “These things may seem unconnected, but really as I was writing so much about family life, I realized that kids and families were advertised to at a crazy rate and that consumerism was a big issue in family life,” she explains. “We live in such a throw-away society and I offer an antidote to this through my workshops and talks. Recently, I created Swag Lab which is a reuse, experiential swag experience for conferences and meetings.” In her workshops and events, Bernadette tries to make sure that there are no barriers to anyone and that everyone feels welcome. “What I know now, since my sister’s death, is that we are all one,” she says. “I saw a meme recently that asked, ‘How do we treat others? Answer: There are no others.’ I love this and I try to live it every day. At many of my events, I cry tears of joy seeing the cross section of humanity represented across race, age, gender, socio-economic class, and more!” Bernadette believes that doors should be open to all. “Y’all means all!” she affirms. “And if anything we do makes people feel victimized or unwelcome, we should take a look and see where they’re coming from and how we can ease their experience.” Bernadette’s beautiful poem echoes these same messages of wonder, possibility, and acceptance.

Learn more on Bernadette’s website at slowfamilyliving.com.