Pseudo Suitors............. (recent inspiration: Sound of Music)

"Sound of Music" was remade and aired last week. I loved that movie as a child. I am sure my allegiance to Catholicism was part of it, but many of the songs I have known for years. The lyric that sticks out now (and has been running in my head, is the song between Maria and Captain Von Trapp) - "Nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever could..."
I believe the reason I hear it over and over in my head is that I am soul searching.

At the end of an 8 year (on again and off again) relationship, I remind myself that THIS is a rear-view mirror, what-might-have-been feeling. If, honestly, nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever could, then why is the MISSING tangible... (When There Was NOTHING?)

There is a lot of poetry and music about the loss of love. These are things I would say, even myself:

“Hearing him talk about his mother, about his intact family, makes my chest hurt for a second, like someone pierced it with a needle.” ― Veronica Roth, Divergent

Yes. It THAT kind of hurt. The holiday schmaltz is like salt in a wound - especially all of the lovey-dovey JEWELRY ads. This was shared on Facebook:

"Sobering thoughts as we enter the holiday season...It is important to remember that not everyone is surrounded by large wonderful families. Some of us have problems during the holidays and sometimes are overcome with great sadness when we remember the loved ones who are not with us. And, many people have no one to spend these times with and are besieged by loneliness. We all need caring, loving thoughts right now. If I don't see your name, I'll understand. May I ask my friends wherever you might be, to kindly copy, paste, and share this status for one hour to give a moment of support to all those who have family problems, health struggles, job issues, worries of any kind and just need to know that someone cares. Do it for all of us, for nobody is immune. I hope to see this on the walls of all my friends just for moral support."...
It's not JUST me!

I am wanting - like the following quote to QUIT this kind of hurt over something best described as "nothing comes from nothing."

"So you've gotten over it, I guess?"...
"Not for a minute. I just quit hurting like hell." - Craig Lesley, Sky Fisherman

"Moving on isn't about not loving someone anymore and forgetting them. It's about having the strength to say I still love you, but you're not worth this pain." - Rita Ghatourey

“When I was young I didn't understand, but now, I know, how absence can be present, like a damaged nerve, like a dark bird.” ― Audrey Niffenegger, The Time Traveler's Wife

I feel it constantly and sometimes I shudder. Physically shudder and have to shake off the impending welled eyes. It happens at the most random of moments and I feel like I am "Faking it til I make it."

I write this, now, to remind myself that this is temporary.

Hoping to feel like the balloon has floated on.

I am not a tree! I am not a tree!

I once read advice: "Do not play with a woman's heart; why mislead a good woman if you're not going to love her the way she deserves to be loved."

I don't know where my leap is. Damn; I need a crystal ball!

I am overly sensitive, maybe, often melancholy. On the brink of an abyss all the time. Small things set me off. Currently I cannot bear to see joggers. ("HE" ran marathons. The "she" he replaced me with is a runner, too.)
It aches. It is YET ANOTHER ripped off bandaid and they are ripped off all the time.


I am reading a book called WILD (from lost to found) and this woman is hiking the PCT (Pacific Crest Trail) alone.
At Crater Lake, she marvels at what once was a 12,000 foot tall mountain called Mt. Mazama and what is now one of the deepest lakes in the world and IS the deepest lake in North America. It once was a wasteland of pumice and ash (much like Mt St Helens) and it is now lush. As she looks at this amazing body of water, this FULL crater, she finds it hard to imagine what it looked like when it was a mountain; it is also difficult to picture it as "empty bowl", back when the heart was removed from Mazama, back when it blew.
I have been to the Crater Lake Rim. I know that precipice. I feel that many things want to tip me over. I feel like my heart was ripped and left a crater when all this blew up on me.

This hiker in the book speaks of Crater Lake, Bridge of the Gods, Olallie Lake, Timberline Lodge
I have been there (all of these places)- there, with a man who loved me
fiercely,
wholly
madly,
deeply,
courageously...
until the day he died!

Lately, the loneliness is unbearable, when I see the crater in me and the lack of someone loving me. MEN MOVE ON. They have all been Pseudo Suitors and Bogus Beaus.
A line in the following song is something I am trying desperately to avoid:
"What makes you grow old is replacing hope with regret!"


Here, it is well put by:
Patty Loveless:


"Too Many Memories"

I remember this time with a love by my side,
And a peace seldom felt in this day and time.
And it gets melancholy every now and again,
When you let your mind go and it drifts way back when.
Life plays it's tricks, some cruel but fair...
And even a fool can pretend they don't care.


When there's too many memories for one heart to hold-
Once a future so bright now seems so distant and cold
And the shadows grow long and your eyes look so old,
When there's too many memories for one heart to hold!


There are those moments and they just never fade!
The look in his eyes and the way the light played.
God moved in that moment and the angels all cried,
And they gave you a memory that you have till you die!
And the lessons you learn and you don't forget,
What makes you grow old is replacing hope with regret!


When there's too many memories for one heart to hold-
Once a future so bright now seems so distant and cold
And the shadows grow long and your eyes look so old,
When there's too many memories for one heart to hold!


When there's too many memories for one heart to hold-
Once a future so bright now seems so distant and cold
And the shadows grow long and your eyes look so old,
When there's too many memories for one heart to hold!

12/8 -12/14/13, Two Viral Topics this week: Koda Kindergartener & "Mandela Debacle" ( 'Fake' sign language interpreter at Nelson Mandela memorial...)

In a week where many in the deaf community were horrified by a bogus interpreter at Nelson Mandela's memorial service, the Kochs hope their daughter's viral video performance will present a more uplifting image.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQeygYqOn8g

She has hit the news in a wonderful way, read on!

http://www.tampabay.com/news/humaninterest/clearwater-kindergarteners-christmas-concert-video-goes-viral/2156775


http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/story/24217416/2013/12/13/worldwide-attention-helps-girl-spread-message?fb_action_ids=10152140629419612&fb_action_types=og.recommends&action_object_map=[440725686054273]&action_type_map=[%22og.recommends%22]&action_ref_map=[%22.UquckACbazc.like%22]">

"...This Christmas, Claire wanted her parents to know what she was singing. "It made me happy,'' she said, "because Mom and Dad can understand the music now.''

"Claire with"O"!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10152185462523969">

Live interview with the family.

http://vimeo.com/82441511">

Still in the news, family "Goes Viral"

http://www.wfla.com/story/24385286/daytime-5-year-old-goes-viral">

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

This next viral debacle keeps unfolding weirder and weirder. Personally, I think this might have the MOST amazing benefit in the end.

"(CNN) -- In this case, the pictures apparently weren't worth a single word.

The sign language interpreter at Tuesday's memorial service in Johannesburg for Nelson Mandela may have appeared to have been translating spoken words into gestures during the four hours he appeared on television screens around the world, but he was a fake, observers said Wednesday.
"The so-called 'interpreter' ... at FNB stadium has been dubbed the 'fake interpreter' and the deaf community is in outrage," said Bruno Druchen, national director of the Deaf Federation of South Africa (Deaf SA), in a statement..."

Aside from the obvious, it was a life changing event for the deaf (who have often been invisible) and have been oppressed for ages. Ironically, this fake interpreter has put the world's eyes on deafness, oppression, the need to vet and hire an appropriate professional interpreter for the job...

Honestly, there is SO much to say (being said right now, I want to chronicle the comments and links in one place.



This is one of the FRESH perspectives from: CW, who posted on Facebook 12/13/13, the following:

You know, I was mulling over the last few days seeing how viral the Mandela's bogus interpreter fiasco came across on various types of media platforms. The Deaf Community were angered and rightly so, they are. It didn't help any when NBC Today's producer (Today has apologized for this clip) and a new parody came across on YouTube aimed to make fun of the bogus interpreter. A well written article on Huffington Post nailed it stating the World still does not understand us. It is common for us to encounter a lot of time getting an interpreter that is not high quality, non certified or worse, one that can't even understand you. It happens often more than you realize.

Yes, the world doesn't understand us. But, that's not what I want to gear at. What I see is that not once in all this myraid of commotion, there are no gratitude for the interpreters whose job are constantly high strung to relay the correct message between both parties. Without the terps, we wouldn't be able to get our message across. They are our bridge to the hearing world. They are our communication barrier-breakers. I can't thank you terps enough for all your diligence. You guys are just awesome. Thank you!

I REALLY appreciate the thanks from a "consumer" - there has been "good" and bad that has come of this.


*********************************************************************************


Huffington Post weighs in:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rabbi-yehoshua-soudakoff/mandela-memorial-service-_b_4433479.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false

The following is an accurate representation of the reverse interpreting if there had been a fake VOICE interpreter.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=631028053543&set=vb.98200308&type=2&theater

Jimmy Kimmel hired a REAL interpreter to interpret the words of the Fraud Interpreter, fail: YouTube captioning, but the transcript of the conversation is on this link. (If you don't see it, click on TOP COMMENTS, NEWEST FIRST) - then you will see the A Haynes transcript. I noticed it has a few grammar errors. They are minor. Siri (on iPhone) is imperfect. I missed the errors, after it was posted.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-DxGoIVUWo&noredirect=1">

One of the BAD things in the "domino-affect" was the poor judgement of The Today Show:

lhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2521999/Today-mocks-fraudulent-Mandela-memorial-sign-language-interpreter-offensive-gag-live-television.html

This is an articulate and powerful challenge of what to do now that this Fake Interpreter put THE WORLDS EYES on Deaf People and Oppression.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZydK_jKJE3w">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZydK_jKJE3w

This is a CDI's perspective.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEDRwifVmhU">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEDRwifVmhU

Here is a Deaf South African Educator's interview.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fd7f_S1oPgY&feature=share

The fraud: "He claimed: 'I was hallucinating.'"

http://worldnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/12/12/21871429-sign-language-interpreter-at-mandela-memorial-i-was-hallucinating-hearing-voices">

And this is just FUNNY!

'Fake' signer faced murder charge, S. Africa now aware

http://news.msn.com/world/fake-signer-faced-murder-charge-s-africa-now-aware ">

Violent sign language interpreter's access to Obama triggers investigation

http://worldnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/12/12/21873839-violent-sign-language-interpreters-access-to-obama-triggers-investigation ">

More from the community.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRMihZaW878">

NAD Responds to Interpreter at Nelson Mandela’s Memorial Service

http://www.nad.org/news/2013/12/nad-responds-interpreter-nelson-mandela-memorial-service ">

Dawn Whitcher, RID President, responds to the Fake Interpreter situation in South Africa

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzFWyZJPq6M&feature=share&list=UUufxp6ZwK8zEstJ4BISgG4A">

The Deaf World is Watching...

http://www.reflexivity.us/wp/2013/12/the-deaf-world-is-watching/ ">



S T R E E T L E V E R A G E:

Nelson Mandela: Have Sign Language Interpreters Disappointed the World? ........Brandon Arthur
The terrible cocktail of “schizophrenia,” unethical business leadership and uninformed government decisions makers that lead to the sign language interpreting debacle at Mandela’s memorial service is a tragedy.

As a sign language interpreter, I cringe at the thought that as a field, we are responsible for the world’s distraction from the celebration of one of the planet’s most widely recognized human rights leaders and for yet another injustice served up to the Deaf Community.

The question that continues to roll around in my head is after the tsunami of sensationalism, swarming armchair quarterbacks, and CYA puffery blows over is, what will change?

While Thamsanqa Jantjie is the current face of the issue, unqualified sign language interpreters deploying or being deployed into local communities around the globe is a longstanding and widespread problem. A problem that necessitates the cooperation of a multiplicity of industry stakeholders willing to put down their nursing agenda and be accountable for the breakdowns in the system that continue to allow this problem to persist.

Are we courageous enough as field, both practitioner and organization, to make the hard decisions necessary to truly eradicate the problem?

If we come away from this debacle truly resolved to create meaningful resolution to the issue of unqualified sign language interpreters infringing on the human rights of Deaf people, perhaps we should consider taking action on the following:

Insist that industry stakeholders publicly and actively subscribe to upholding the UN Convention on Rights of Persons with Disabilities (UNCRPD).
Incorporate the applicable aspects of the UNCRPD as part of the ethical practices system for working sign language interpreters. Further, to insist on more aggressive and timely actions for violations.
Found a national organization to create, uphold and promote standards of practice for businesses deploying sign language interpreters.
Establish a coalition responsible for a partnership between national associations serving the Deaf community, national organizations serving sign language interpreters, and organizations responsible for the public awareness of the rights of Deaf people and the roles and responsibility of sign language interpreters.
Insist on local partnerships between Deaf and sign language interpreting organizations that result in the perpetuation of native perspectives among practicing sign language interpreters.

Care to add?

Thanks to Mandela for doing in death what he did in life, using his existence to raise the awareness of the atrocities, injustices, and disadvantages suffered at the hand of privilege, while working to make the world a more inhabitable place.

Let’s not allow the memory of Mandela’s memorial service to be one where the field of sign language interpreting disappointed the world. Let it be one where we honor Mandela’s life by rising from the ashes galvanized to end the rampant problem of unqualified practitioners infringing upon the human rights of Deaf people.

- See more at:
http://www.streetleverage.com/2013/12/nelson-mandela-have-sign-language-interpreters-disappointed-the-world/#sthash.FVO1jarx.dpuf"> http://www.streetleverage.com/2013/12/nelson-mandela-have-sign-language-interpreters-disappointed-the-world/#sthash.FVO1jarx.dpuf

Professor Graham Turner: 10 lessons from the tale of the ‘fake’ interpreter:

/http://limpingchicken.com/2013/12/13/10-lessons-fake-terp/">

JOHANNESBURG (AP) — The bogus sign language interpreter at last week's Nelson Mandela memorial service was among a group of people who accosted two men found with a stolen television and burned them to death by setting fire to tires placed around their necks, one of the interpreter's cousins and three of his friends told The Associated Press Monday.

For those of you following the fake interpreter debacle at Nelson Mandela's memorial last week...

http://www.realinterpreter.com/">

Rigorous training for REAL interpreters.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/12/13/asl-sign-language-interpreter-training-south-africa/4013003/">http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/12/13/asl-sign-language-interpreter-training-south-africa/4013003/

Saturday Night Live addressed the Nelson Mandela fake interpreter fiasco last night in its opening sketch. Kenan Thompson portrayed Thamsanqa Jantjie, the incoherent South African interpreter while Jay Pharaoh pretended to be President Barack Obama.

http://deafnewstoday.blogspot.com/2013/12/snl-mocks-fake-funeral-terp.html">

South Africa's African National Congress told the public that it has nothing to do with the fraud interpreter.

http://www.globaltimes.cn/content/832565.shtml#.UrBfN-JGvYR">

ASL Morning Message Special Edition: 'Fake Interpreter'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Bv4w1rkiyk">

A Tale Of 2 Interpreters: 6 Lessons From Jantjie And Koch

http://www.languagescientific.com/language-services-blog/a-tale-of-2-interpreters.html">

WHAT WAS REALLY SAID? The tribute to Mandela in ASL.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaj78aHFd1o">

Interpreter humor

http://limpingchicken.com/2012/03/12/donna-williams-s-people-say-to-sign-language-interpreters/">

Fake interpreter draws ire [Commentary]

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/opinion/oped/bs-ed-interpreter-20131217,0,2726152.story">

How to hire a qualified interpeter

http://deafreview.com/deafreview-news/10-tips-for-hiring-qualified-sign-language-interpreters/">

Sign-Language Interpreters Get Creative With Specialty Vocabulary

http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304773104579266792997670058">

THE INTERPRETER

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/01/the-interpreter/">

Life as a Bilingual
Those Incredible Interpreters
Interpreting is one of the most difficult linguistic skills

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/life-bilingual/201109/those-incredible-interpreters">

Differences in Black and White signing - an interpreter reference

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/sign-language-that-african-americans-use-is-different-from-that-of-whites/2012/09/17/2e897628-bbe2-11e1-8867-ecf6cb7935ef_story.html">

South African Deaf Comments:

https://www.facebook.com/wilma.newhoudhtdruchen/posts/10151892417352393">

December 8th and other exes-musings

At this time of year, either the news mentions December 7th, noting the attack on Pearl Harbor - or on December 8, we hear of John Lennons's death.

40 years ago, I married on December 8th, so, inadvertently, something in the news alerts me of my wedding anniversary to my kids' father.

Maybe it is an "un-iversary", because we divorced. That marriage lasted 9 years and produced three amazing children.

So December rolls around and so does nostalgia. Marriage, children born in my twenties, divorce, re-marriage... I take a trip down memory lane.

I was reminiscing the second time around and how I REALLY missed the signs. My second husband (G) had a temper. I really still was quite young when I married G and he and his son joined me and my daughter and two sons, growing us to a family of five. Drama came quickly on the heels of that wedding.

G and I married in April. In July, there was a death in my husband's family; his seven year old nephew had drowned in Alaska, so we drove to Montana for the services, on the last day of July. My step son was in Montana already, and we would be bringing him home from his grandparents' visit after the funeral.

I had never been to Montana; my husband was from there & had made the trip MANY times. We left for Montana late in the evening in our "Brady-Bunch" station wagon, loading the three kids in the back, rear seat down, so they could sleep most of the way.

At some point, my daughter and I traded places; she sat in the front passenger seat, and I used her sleeping bag, trying to rest up for my turn to drive. Around midnight, we pulled into some remote rest stop - way North East in Washington. I asked my daughter for my shoes, climbed over the boys, went in the bathroom & assumed because she knew, I had my bases covered.

My husband returned to the car, gave it a cursory look and left. I was still in the bathroom.

I was alone, had no money, no idea of where (REALLY) we were headed. I used a pay phone; dialed 0; got a soft-hearted operator who helped me for free.... she used directory assistance and found the phone number of Montana family and called them for me. I told the family: "If he arrives, I am in Washington, STILL."

The operator also connected me with police. They didn't help or come. My salvation was (after 3 hours) a trucker who planned to park there and sleep for the night. I heard him pull up. I explained my situation and he put the news out on the CB radio and later, another truck driver pulled into a different rest stop (God knows how many miles away from where I was at,) and saw a vehicle that matched the description he had heard on the CB. He approached the driver side window and knocked, waking my napping husband. He asked: "Are you headed to a funeral in Montana?"

Although my husband thought it was a joke, he got all the information, returned to "My Rest Stop" and picked me up.

Ironically, my husband was infuriated with ME.
(A true portend for the rest of that marriage...)

******************************************************
Not to get into the rest of the deterioration of that marriage - I wrote a song while I awaited rescue. Here's the
"LAMENT OF THE STRANDED":
******************************************************
This is a tale of the love that was lost
while primpin' and fussin'; not counting the cost
of a man with a schedule & things on his mind...
who drove down the highway with his woman behind.


Well she's read that map - about a hundred times
and she can repeat the graffiti rhymes.
And she sits & wonders how long til he finds
that he has took off with his woman behind.


Now she sits and wonders how long will it take?
And why was she left in this restaurant by fate?
The truckers all stare and the tourist sure know
it don't take a woman THREE hours to go!

Well she's read that map - about a hundred times
and she can repeat the graffiti rhymes.
And she sits & wonders how long til he finds
that he has took off with his woman behind.

A STORY WRITTEN AROUND THE TABLE BY 9 OF US ON 2013 THANKSGIVING

 Stories In The Round, a holiday tradition

       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once upon a time there was an elf named Lisa.

She did not like making toys so she went to Santa and asked if there was something else that she could do.

Santa let her do a swap and she helped him make some of the magic fairy dust that makes the sled fly and the reindeers pull the magic sled.

She had too much curiosity to only make the magic dust, and so she decided that it would be fun to go somewhere! She put some magic dust in a pouch and took herself off to places unknown.

She ended up in Kansas, which was a place she had never seen. It was very flat and as she looked around, she saw a strange cloud come towards her. She was not able to get the magic dust on her to leave Kansas in time, and she was sucked up in a tornado.

Things flew everywhere, and she could not get to her pouch of magic dust to get her out of the tornado. The biggest problem was that the pouch sprinkled magic dust all throughout the funnel cloud and everything started flying everywhere. Cows could fly; bicycles could fly; it was pandemonium.

It became pretty scary; so many things that were flying. You had to duck everything. Swords were flying; armor was flying; it was very scary and then all of the swords and armor fell on to her in a pig pile.

Luckily, the reason everything could fly, is that it had magic dust on it. This also meant that things were not heavy; they were light as a feather. With a big poof of air, she blew them off of her.

They were still flying around (& she had to duck them) but it did get her free. Then she found an old style phone; she did not know how to use it. It was not like a cell phone.  It had a round dial; you had to put your finger in it to dial. She did not know the phone number for her friend Ellis, the elf, who could help her from back home. She thought she would try something that was brand-new. She decided to dial the word "North Pole". She put her finger in the hole with the "N" and dialed. Then "O", then "R".  She had to think hard how to spell it. Finally, she finished with the letter "E".    

Ellis had been working hard.  He was tired, but he was also worried about his friend. He answered the phone. She urged him to help her, but said "Do not tell Santa!" Ellis managed to put magic dust on the sleigh, come to Kansas, rescue her, and bring her back.

 Everybody was waiting for her when she came back, and so was Santa.

She was in trouble. She was not allowed to work with the magic dust anymore, but she did not have to make toys either! You'll never guess what her new chore was!  She became the cook!

Thanksgiving 2013

Thanksgiving in Albany this year, and a lot to be thankful for. Certainly, there are those who dread family time and it is worthy of headaches or alcohol-induced stupor, but not here. My daughter and her family (that makes 4) plus her brother-in-law and their family (another 4) and me, the Grandma everyone calls Badi, (pronounced body... That's ME,) were the nine in attendance. Earlier in the day, I sent out a little ASL - I Love You Turkey to friends.

Before I drove down to Albany, after internet craft search, I came up with a pinecone turkey idea. I had the cones for firestarters already, so I went outside for a variety of fall leaves and some pine tree needles. I made up nine peach colored feathers with the names of every one coming and put together my turkey so we had a template. Here's my lil guy:

\

The Whitesides are amazing cooks (and have even had a few friendly family cooking competitions. The wine and turkey were a perfect combination. Mashed and sweet potatoes, green beans with sauteed shallots, home made biscuits ---and last on the dinner menu--- (my contribution:) cranberry orange relish. Brother in law brought a pumpkin pie and my daughter made apple pie. Here is the 150 year old technology (apple corer) she used and the pie safe where the masterpiece was stored until Thursday evening.

This a collage of their home and the 8 people there (I was the photographer and didn't end up in pictures this time.)

Brene' Brown and the Power of Vulnerability.

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html">

Brene' has a lot to say that I appreciate, and right out of the gate (in this video), she brings up her self worth and self image by trying to negotiate how to be marketed. A marketer said to her, "I can't tell people to come hear a researcher; that won't draw crowds; ... I'll advertise you as a Story Teller."
Brene's thought was: "WHY DON'T YOU JUST CALL ME A MAGIC PIXIE...?"
I can relate to her Magic Pixie comment, because that is how I've felt as a sign language interpreter. The crazy comments and misunderstandings about this field range from:

"Aww! Isn't that NICE of you to HELP the Poor Deaf Person..."
"So you TEACH?"
"You get paid for that?"
These misunderstandings (and then some), feel a lot like the Magic Pixie comment and this field can be a pretty tight clique that only a few people understand what it is like.

Here are some terrific Brene' Quotes: