Authenticity

"YOUR WORK IS NOT TO DRAG THE WORLD KICKING AND SCREAMING INTO A NEW AWARENESS. YOUR JOB IS TO SIMPLY DO YOUR WORK... SACREDLY, SECRETLY AND SILENTLY... AND THOSE WITH "EYES TO SEE AND EARS TO HEAR" WILL RESPOND."... I love this quote. By doing our work, authentically, consistently, the people who need to find us - will find us."

There lies the rub. Can we do our work with authenticity if we don't know our work?
Can we do our work with authenticity if we don't know our worth?
Can we be found if we are hiding?

It is a double edge sword, shining in our competency and slicing through our insecurities.

There is an old hymn that says: "Hide it under a bushel? No. I gotta let it shine."
Honestly, how often do we behave in a dismissive manor about our talents, skills, innate abilities?
We respond with a "This Old Thing? Attitude". Why is this our response to a compliment?

Why?

It is not that we are behaving ungratefully for a compliment; it is what we feel we do or do not deserve. We let the deserved positives slide off and we latch on to the undeserved negatives. We hold onto "The Uglies" and claim them as our own. Some hurtful words just fall into that category:
dumb
slow
can't
never
fat
stupid
lazy
incompetent

There are people who have said things that have left as scars on us. "Sticks and Stones" was never farther from the truth.

Like a tape recorder in my head, I can not only know the words of the "uglies" that I heard in the past, I can still hear the voices of who said them.

Bullying isn't exactly the point I am making, but the crumpled paper that is never restored, IS the point.

Words.

Words and their ability to empower or destroy, to enflame with passion or engulf with destruction: these words are woven into our lives. Due to the words we have heard, we have self confidence or not. And depending on our inner voice - our inner words, we may or may not be authentic to ourselves.
This has been on my mind a lot, lately. I am not actually thinking about self worth because it is a new year.

I am thinking about the quote, above, the one that says "By doing our work, authentically, consistently, the people who need to find us - will find us..." -and do we "even want to be found"?

Have I not tried to be authentic to myself , not show my light? I have gotten some rave reviews that I do not know how to handle. My writing style was compared to a Pulitzer Prize winner. My artwork and desire to be producing creatively in writing and painting and other ways... it has taken off. I have recieved kudos, commissions and accolades. I was interviewed for a blog and have donated to charities.

And even in writing that, I feel a bit FULL OF MYSELF. Somewhere between hubris and humility is the balance. I am trying to find the authenticity.

Authenticity to myself. Do not misunderstand that I am a liar or I am showing people a fake me.
NO.
I am talking about being authentic to myself, and myself alone. The inner voices are where we get our "ME-NESS". If asked, "Who ARE you?" That would be my "ME-NESS."

It is new thing - the learning curve how to do this. It has been a long time since anything I made or wrote was public. This blog is a vulnerable peek into who I am or what I feel, and by showing my art - or other skills, I have to remove the "bushel" and decide that is okay for the light to be shining.

That is my challenge to me.

That is my challenge to you, to others. Authentically (and it is a step by step process...) shine. Our work and our worth will be noted when we acknowledge it in a healthy manor.
I am learning how. It will probably be one of my challenges daily.


These are lyrics from a CD that is in my car. I OFTEN start my day listening to it.

In this world there's a whole lot of trouble, baby.
In this world there's a whole lot of pain.
In this world there's a whole lot of trouble
But a whole lot of ground to gain.

Why take when you could be giving? Why watch as the world goes by?
It's a hard enough life to be living, why walk when you can fly?

In this world there's a whole lot of sorrow.
In this world there's a whole lot of shame.
In this world there's a whole lot of sorrow
And a whole lotta ground to gain.

When you spend your whole life wishing, wanting and wondering why -
It's a long enough life to be living, why walk when you can fly?

In this world there's a whole lot of cold.
In this world there's a whole lot of blame.
In this world you've a soul for a compass
And a heart for a pair of wings.

There's a star on the far horizon, rising bright in an azure sky
For the rest of the time that you're given, why walk when you can fly?

Sung by Mary Chapin Carpenter

That's authentic. WHY WALK WHEN YOU CAN FLY?